"I Want To See Jesus"

"I want to see Jesus."

Those are perhaps the sweetest words I've ever heard my two-year old utter. That's right; they came straight from the mouth of my baby. Now, before you go thinking he's some spiritual toddler giant, you should know that we were listening to a song from our "120 Bible Songs for Kids" album on my iPhone and he was asking to see the album cover - a picture of Jesus with children all around Him and in His lap. The way he worded that request though…"I want to see Jesus," made my heart smile. I said a little prayer that that would always be the desire of his heart.

My greatest prayer for my children is not that they would be well-behaved or healthy or safe or successful or happy. Of course, I want all of those things for them and more; but most of all, I want them to "want to see Jesus"! I want them to hunger and thirst for Him. I want them to love His word and delight in serving Him. I know, as I mentioned in my post entitled "Praying for My Boys," that I cannot make that happen. Only God can change their hearts. However, there are things I can do as a mother to help steer them in the right direction.

• I can show them what it looks like to love the Lord, to worship Him, to seek Him, and to serve Him with joy. I am far from perfect, and my children will grow up knowing that better than anyone else! My goal, though, is that they would always know that I love the Lord with all my heart. I mess up, and I seek and accept forgiveness. I live my life in an attitude of worship - praising Him and thanking Him and serving Him when I'm happy or sad, stressed or relaxed, busy or bored, when things are going my way and when they aren't. My children will see me at my best and at my worst, and I pray my love for Christ will shine through both!
• I can talk to them about God. This sounds so easy…so why does it seem so difficult to actually do it? I have found that, in my life, the most likely way for this to happen is for me to actually plan it. Some mornings, I actually think through my day and decide when I am going to talk to my children about God. I may decide to talk about how God made Landon when I'm bathing him at night. I may talk about how God loves us even when we mess up after I get him out of time out. I may tell Carson how precious he is to God as I'm rocking him at nap time. We talk about how God made the animals when we're playing with Landon's Fisher Price Little People farm. I actually plan these interactions based on events that I am sure are going to happen in our day. The more I do this, the more often it begins to happen spontaneously. It's like I just get used to talking about it, and it becomes easier and more natural. Then, I don't have to plan it anymore; it just happens.
• I can play Christian music. In the car, I pretty much only listen to Christian music. (Occasionally, I'll flip the station, but I'm almost always reminded of why I don't want my child hearing that music. Would I really want him singing those lyrics?) When we're playing and in the mood for play tunes, I will turn on our "120 Bible Songs for Kids." Sometimes, Landon will ask to hear some other song like "If You're Happy and You Know It" or "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." In that case, we listen to those. I do not force it because I do not want it to be something negative.
• I can read the Bible to my children. Every morning at breakfast, we read one Bible story from our children's Bible. Some days, Landon listens intently and responds to the story, pointing out something in the picture or commenting on something we read. Other times, he talks non-stop as we are trying to read the story or asks to see Adam and Eve and the "Bad Snake" seven times as we're reading about Samson. When that happens, we try to keep the mood light and happy by pausing our story, smiling, responding to him before going back to reading. Then, as soon as we finish that day's story, we'll go back and see Adam and Eve and the Bad Snake.
• I can help them memorize scripture. I know for some of you this may sound tedious or unlikely since you, yourself, do not memorize scripture. However, it is soooooo much easier than I ever would have imagined! I bought a little board book from Barnes and Noble that has A-Z Bible verses - a short verse for each letter of the alphabet. Every morning, after our Bible story, we would read one verse, the same one for the entire week. Then, the next week, we would read that verse and a new verse. Landon's memory is better than mine! He knows 9 Bible verses, and he's only TWO years old! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hearing him recite the verses; and he genuinely enjoys it. He asks to read his Bible stories and his "nother one Bible 'tories" (what he calls his Bible verses). I never intended to ask him to recite the verses, I just wanted him to hear them everyday. However, one day, I started reading the verse for that day, and he just recited it along with me. Now, we take turns…on each 2-page spread, I let him chose which verse he wants to say and which verse he wants me to say. Again, keep it fun and light-hearted…no pressure…kids don't like pressure!
• I can use scriptures in everyday situations. I use scriptures when I'm correcting/disciplining my children. ("Keep your lips from evil and your tongue from telling lies." - when he tells me that he does not have a poopy diaper even though I know he does.) I use them to encourage Landon when he does something well. ("God loves a cheerful giver," - when he shares his apples with Dad.) I use them to teach Landon to acknowledge God's handiwork or His presence. ("God created the heavens and the earth." - when we are playing outside and see the trees, grass, clouds, etc. "Fear not for I am with thee."- when we're going to the doctor.
• I can take my children to church - even when it's not convenient. Last Sunday, both boys slept in (hallelujah!) until 8:00. We do not set alarms in our house because we usually do not need to; so since they slept in, so did we. Well, we have to leave our house at 8:30 to get to church on time. It would have been so easy to say, "Let's just skip this week." Instead, we kicked it into high gear!!! Somehow, we got all four of us dressed (Carson breastfed) and read to go by 8:35! I had to do my make up in the car, but we made it!
• I can pray for them and with them. Again, we started off by scheduling this. We pray with our boys before every meal, before every nap, before bed, and after any punishment such as time out or spankings. I pray for my boys every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up. After doing this for a few weeks, I found myself praying simple one-liners for my boys at random times throughout the day. Then, I found myself praying simple one-liners with my boys (i.e. on our way to church - "Thank you, God, that we can go to church." or when Landon wakes up from a nap unhappy - "Help Landon to feel better and have Your joy.")
• I can make all of the above FUN!
  • I do not force any of it! We do read our Bible stories everyday, but it is not a chore. It's fun! If Landon is not into it, we don't make a big deal out of it. We read it and move on. Then, later we look for ways to bring it back up in conversation.
  • Sometimes, I have to get creative. The other day, we were reading our Bible story at snack time because we did not get to at breakfast. We were eating bananas and graham crackers as I read the story of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. After reading it, I excitedly told Landon that there was a song about that story. I played it for him on my iPod (again from our "120 Bible Songs for Kids"). Then, God gave me a brilliant idea…we used the graham crackers to build walls around Landon's juice cup. Then, we used a single skinny graham cracker stick to be Joshua and made him march around the walls we had built. Then, after he marched around 7 times, we blew the trumpet/banana and shouted and knocked the walls over! Landon loved it! Several times since that day, he has said, "Duh duh duh!!! (trumpet sound) And the walls fall OVER!!!" He knows that Bible story well! I always say, "Yes! That's right! Joshua and the soldiers marched around Jericho; and when they blew their trumpets and shouted, God made the walls fall over!" (filling in the details so he might pick up on those as well one day), I was an early elementary education major so sometimes these ideas just come to me randomly, but that's not the case with you, here are a few off the top of my head: act out a story; have dolls or stuffed animals be characters in a story; go on a scavenger hunt around  your house for items mentioned in the story - toys animals for creation story, toy boat for story of the fishermen, etc; draw a scene from the story; for younger kids, just draw/doodle while Mom is reading the story; use household objects to make sound effects that go along with the story; clap every time you hear a certain word. There are tons of more ideas online, but maybe that got some ideas rolling in your brain.
  • We can use silly voices when saying our Bible verses: squeaky mouse voice, deep manly voice, whisper voice, loud voice, opera voice, cowboy voice, etc.
  • I can get excited and talk it up with my children! Your kids' attitudes toward something will often reflect your own!

I'll be honest, some days, it seems as though it's all for naught! Some days, it seems that they're not getting anything; so what's the point. Then, God will send me a little encouragement. Landon will say something like, "I wanna weed my Bi' 'towy" (I want to read my Bible story!), even though we've already read a Bible story that day. On those days, we may read two or three Bible stories. Some days, God gives us teachable moments - Frequently, while staring at the page of Adam and Eve (his new favorite story), Landon will say, "A-oo Eee sad" and I'll say, "That's right. Why are they sad?" He responds, "They had leave garden." Me: "That's right…because they did not obey God. Obeying God makes us happy, but if we do not obey, it makes us sad." The other day, Landon asked to listen to "De-zus nunic" (Jesus music). I turned on "Jesus Loves Me," and Landon sang along while we ate breakfast…sweet, sweet sound! When I told Landon today that I loved him and Daddy loved him but there was someone who loved him even more than we did, he responded, "De-zus!" …THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!

Ultimately, his heart is God's responsibility. I cannot change it. I cannot force my children to love God or serve Him. I can pray for it and I can try to steer them in the right direction. I can plant the seed and trust God to make it grow.

NO Condemnation

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

As a Christian wife and mother, I feel as though I am constantly under attack. The fiery darts of guilt prick at my conscience and hiss in my ear, "You're not good enough. You may be doing well in this area, but you're failing here. Try harder. Work harder. Do more. It's still not enough." In response, I try harder, work harder, and do more; and yet I still feel as though it's just not enough. These thoughts assault me and leave me feeling defeated and hopeless. I am not sure whether these thoughts originate in my own perfectionist personality or in the standard set forth by the church or in the appearance of perfection from other Christian wives and moms; but surely this is not what my Heavenly Father wants for me.

Just today, after talking with a friend struggling with the same feelings, God brought to mind the verse I posted above, "Therefore, there is no no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1. What does that mean? Well, that means that we've been found "Not guilty!" Yes, we sin. We mess up. We fall short. BUT, Jesus took our guilt upon Himself. So, if we are feeling guilty, perhaps those feelings are not from the Lord.

Conviction is a feeling of remorse over sins (whether sins of commission: something we've done - or sins of omission: something we've failed to do). Conviction is from the Lord and leads to repentance, a changed lifestyle. Guilt, on the other hand, is a feeling of failure or inadequacy and leaves us feeling defeated, dejected, and discouraged. This is not from the Lord! I know as a mother, when I'm trying to teach my children to do something, I want them to feel inspired and motivated, proud of their efforts and their accomplishments - not beaten down and discouraged, ready to give up. If I feel that way, how much more would our loving Heavenly Father want that for us??? Thus, these feelings of inadequacy must come from somewhere else; and I think I know where - Satan.

Satan will get to us in any way he can. I do not believe in giving Satan more credit than he's due, but he is alive and well. The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 that "your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." As Christians, Satan cannot possess us. We are safe in God's hands, and Satan cannot pluck us from there. However, with God's permission, he can get to us. God allows it because He knows that the testing of our faith develops perseverance and helps us to grow.  I believe two of Satan's most powerful tools that he uses to render Christians ineffective is distraction and discouragement.

As a mother, distraction may look like trying to keep a spotless house, trying to make every meal homemade and healthy (or even one meal!), trying to keep our children spotless and perfectly behaved in public, trying to get to all those great pinterest ideas, etc. I am a perfectionist, and I like for things to be "just so" - not because I care so much about what others think, but because I expect it from myself. However, trying to be perfect distracts me from my purpose as a Christian, a wife, and a mother. Trying to please others, trying to please ourselves is, in essence, "Idolatry" because we are putting others' approval or our own over God's.

Discouragement happens often as a result of distraction. We get distracted by all those other things and then become discouraged because we are not measuring up to the standard that we set for ourselves. And often, because we've veered from what God intended in the first place, we're not living up to His standard either. That is where that guilt rears its ugly head. We feel guilty because we are not spending as much time with our children as we want to be. We feel guilty because we cannot keep everyone happy. We feel guilty because our home is a disaster. We feel guilty because we haven't worn make up or dressed up for our husbands in weeks. We feel guilty because we're having BLT's for supper…again. GUILT! That guilt leaves us feeling beaten down and discouraged - a feeling that affects every other area as well. We don't enjoy the time we do spend with our children because we feel guilty that we're not spending more. We are short-tempered with them when they are all crying at once because we feel guilty that we can't keep everyone happy. We brush off our husband's compliment because we feel guilty that we haven't done more to impress him. And so on...

So, what's the answer??? My devotion this morning hit the nail on the head. "Find FREEDOM by seeking to please Me above all else." (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young) Wow! You mean we can find FREEDOM by seeking to just please God??? Freedom? Doesn't that sound wonderful! Freedom from guilt. Freedom from stress. Freedom from the overwhelming pressures of this life! Freedom! So, my friends, seek to please the LORD. How do we do that?

Well, He's not pleased with spotless houses, perfect children, made-up wives, or homemade meals. Sure, those things are nice; and when they're accomplished with joy and peace (not stress and guilt), they can bring honor to the Lord. However, He is just as pleased with a toy-strewn family room, silly children with chocolate smeared on their faces and hair sticking up on top of their heads, wives with no make up and hair in a pony tail, and pb&j sandwiches. What matters is your attitude, your heart. Are you praising Him for your blessings as you're picking up another pair of dirty socks off the floor? Are you asking for patience, grace, and peace as you attempt to handle the fourth tempter tantrum of the morning? Are you singing silly songs with your children as you spread peanut butter on that piece of bread? Are you kissing your husband when he comes home from work and telling him how happy you are that he's home?

This is what God is teaching me. I have not yet arrived, but He is working on my heart…and I am determined to let Him! I will do this by seeking Him first ABOVE all things and IN all things!

Praying for My Boys

I never knew before I had children that I would I feel so utterly ill-equipped to raise these children. Everyday, I am overwhelmed with the awesome privilege and the great responsibility of raising these baby boys to be godly men. It terrifies me. Before I had children, I thought I knew what it would take. I knew that I didn't have all the answers. I knew it would be challenging, but I thought I had what it took. I guess, in a way, I was right…because I have the Lord. Honestly, that is ALL I can rely on when it comes to training them to be godly men. I cannot rely on my own wisdom, my own strength, my education, my training, my experience or background, advice from others, research, or anything else. Sure, I can nurture them and bond with them, creating a close relationship with them the way my mom did with me. I can set boundaries and expectations for them the way my in-laws did for their children. I can discipline them with consequences and rewards the way I learned in school. I can provide a safe, stable, structured, routine for them the way I learned as a teacher in the classroom. I can use the Bible and prayer when I discipline them the way I've read in books that Christian parents should do. I can read the Bible with them every morning at the breakfast table and help them memorize scriptures. I can do all those things and more, but I cannot change their hearts. That has become more and more evident to me in recent days as I watch my little toddler assert his independence with little or no regard for consequences and no remorse when he is corrected or punished. Try as I may, I cannot reach his heart. That terrifies me. That is what keeps me on my knees - seeking God and pleading with Him - beseeching Him to give me wisdom and grace as I attempt to train these boys and begging Him to change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

Recently, I read a book about praying scriptures over your sons - Warrior Prayers: Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need It Most by Brooke L. McGlothlin. Here is a little excerpt that expressed exactly what I was feeling and perfectly states why we as parents have to pray:

"I cannot hold my children tightly enough to protect them from all harm, cannot force these brothers to love each other well, cannot control their actions, cannot keep them from losing the people they love, can- not ensure that they will turn out to be the men I dream they will be, cannot make them love the Lord.

I cannot change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

I don’t pray because I can. I pray because I can’t.

Prayer is the coming to the end of myself, the letting go, and placing my hope in the God who can. It’s putting none of my hope in what I can do, and all of my hope in what He has already done. It’s taking comfort in a God who loved deeply enough to save me and resting in the knowledge that He can do the same for my sons. It’s choosing to believe the truth of His Word--praying for its completion in the hearts of my sons--washing it over my tired heart and keeping my eyes on the One who straightens my path. It is enough for me and enough for my sons.

Wearing a posture of prayer as lifeline, hope, desperate plea to the God Who can."