NO Condemnation

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

As a Christian wife and mother, I feel as though I am constantly under attack. The fiery darts of guilt prick at my conscience and hiss in my ear, "You're not good enough. You may be doing well in this area, but you're failing here. Try harder. Work harder. Do more. It's still not enough." In response, I try harder, work harder, and do more; and yet I still feel as though it's just not enough. These thoughts assault me and leave me feeling defeated and hopeless. I am not sure whether these thoughts originate in my own perfectionist personality or in the standard set forth by the church or in the appearance of perfection from other Christian wives and moms; but surely this is not what my Heavenly Father wants for me.

Just today, after talking with a friend struggling with the same feelings, God brought to mind the verse I posted above, "Therefore, there is no no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1. What does that mean? Well, that means that we've been found "Not guilty!" Yes, we sin. We mess up. We fall short. BUT, Jesus took our guilt upon Himself. So, if we are feeling guilty, perhaps those feelings are not from the Lord.

Conviction is a feeling of remorse over sins (whether sins of commission: something we've done - or sins of omission: something we've failed to do). Conviction is from the Lord and leads to repentance, a changed lifestyle. Guilt, on the other hand, is a feeling of failure or inadequacy and leaves us feeling defeated, dejected, and discouraged. This is not from the Lord! I know as a mother, when I'm trying to teach my children to do something, I want them to feel inspired and motivated, proud of their efforts and their accomplishments - not beaten down and discouraged, ready to give up. If I feel that way, how much more would our loving Heavenly Father want that for us??? Thus, these feelings of inadequacy must come from somewhere else; and I think I know where - Satan.

Satan will get to us in any way he can. I do not believe in giving Satan more credit than he's due, but he is alive and well. The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 that "your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." As Christians, Satan cannot possess us. We are safe in God's hands, and Satan cannot pluck us from there. However, with God's permission, he can get to us. God allows it because He knows that the testing of our faith develops perseverance and helps us to grow.  I believe two of Satan's most powerful tools that he uses to render Christians ineffective is distraction and discouragement.

As a mother, distraction may look like trying to keep a spotless house, trying to make every meal homemade and healthy (or even one meal!), trying to keep our children spotless and perfectly behaved in public, trying to get to all those great pinterest ideas, etc. I am a perfectionist, and I like for things to be "just so" - not because I care so much about what others think, but because I expect it from myself. However, trying to be perfect distracts me from my purpose as a Christian, a wife, and a mother. Trying to please others, trying to please ourselves is, in essence, "Idolatry" because we are putting others' approval or our own over God's.

Discouragement happens often as a result of distraction. We get distracted by all those other things and then become discouraged because we are not measuring up to the standard that we set for ourselves. And often, because we've veered from what God intended in the first place, we're not living up to His standard either. That is where that guilt rears its ugly head. We feel guilty because we are not spending as much time with our children as we want to be. We feel guilty because we cannot keep everyone happy. We feel guilty because our home is a disaster. We feel guilty because we haven't worn make up or dressed up for our husbands in weeks. We feel guilty because we're having BLT's for supper…again. GUILT! That guilt leaves us feeling beaten down and discouraged - a feeling that affects every other area as well. We don't enjoy the time we do spend with our children because we feel guilty that we're not spending more. We are short-tempered with them when they are all crying at once because we feel guilty that we can't keep everyone happy. We brush off our husband's compliment because we feel guilty that we haven't done more to impress him. And so on...

So, what's the answer??? My devotion this morning hit the nail on the head. "Find FREEDOM by seeking to please Me above all else." (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young) Wow! You mean we can find FREEDOM by seeking to just please God??? Freedom? Doesn't that sound wonderful! Freedom from guilt. Freedom from stress. Freedom from the overwhelming pressures of this life! Freedom! So, my friends, seek to please the LORD. How do we do that?

Well, He's not pleased with spotless houses, perfect children, made-up wives, or homemade meals. Sure, those things are nice; and when they're accomplished with joy and peace (not stress and guilt), they can bring honor to the Lord. However, He is just as pleased with a toy-strewn family room, silly children with chocolate smeared on their faces and hair sticking up on top of their heads, wives with no make up and hair in a pony tail, and pb&j sandwiches. What matters is your attitude, your heart. Are you praising Him for your blessings as you're picking up another pair of dirty socks off the floor? Are you asking for patience, grace, and peace as you attempt to handle the fourth tempter tantrum of the morning? Are you singing silly songs with your children as you spread peanut butter on that piece of bread? Are you kissing your husband when he comes home from work and telling him how happy you are that he's home?

This is what God is teaching me. I have not yet arrived, but He is working on my heart…and I am determined to let Him! I will do this by seeking Him first ABOVE all things and IN all things!