Discipline - Picking Your Battles

As Landon gains more independence and begins to assert that independence, Craig and I are having to choose our battles more carefully now. The other day, God spoke so clearly to my heart on this issue that I felt I should record it.

Landon has been saying, "No" A LOT lately. He says it to everything! The other day, I'd been hearing it all day. "Landon, we need to go change your diaper." "Nnno…" "Landon, it's time to eat." "Nnnno…" I was so sick of that word! By the end of the day, I was just tired of dealing with it. I decided I was just going to ignore it and go on about what I was doing. If I told Landon it was time to change his diaper and he said, "No," I was just going to pick him up and take him in his room and change his diaper. As I was following through with this plan, I felt God telling me that I was allowing him to disrespect me (a sin). In allowing him to sin, I was teaching him that his behavior was acceptable. Now, mind you, I was not giving in to him. I was still changing his diaper, but I was not dealing with the disrespect. So, I prayed about the issue and tried to gain a little perspective.

Through my time with the Lord, I learned or was reminded of these things:

• My goal is not to have a well-behaved child who just does what he's supposed to. My goal is to raise a child who loves and serves the Lord. To do that, I have to focus on teaching and reaching his heart, not just focussing on his behavior. I cannot allow sin to go unnoticed or unpunished.
• I cannot give up on doing what is right just because I am weary; I must remain focussed on my harvest (a child who loves the Lord). "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Gal. 6:9)
• There are areas where I can pick my battles, but I must address any issues of the heart so that sin cannot take root and become a habit or a lifestyle for my child.

So, I now have a new outlook on picking my battles. I can pick my battles when Landon wants to dump his blocks out all over the floor (even though I do not like it). I can pick my battles when he runs around screaming like a wild man in the house (I especially do not like that). I canNOT pick my battles when Landon chooses to disobey something I've told him to do. I must deal with his disobedience. A very common statement in our home is, "Landon, you cannot tell Mommy and Daddy 'No' because that is not respectful and it does not honor Mommy and Daddy the way the Bible teaches. If you tell us 'No' again, you will have to go in time out." We do this multiple times a day (so often that sometimes when Landon is in time out for something else and I ask him why he's there, he'll say "Momma - no" meaning "I told Momma 'No.'") It gets redundant, but we are not growing wearing in doing good.